Check out this Obit I read to-day:
Tension, Rachel-- Loving mother of three, dog owner, and sewing teacher to many. She will be missed. Survived by two of three children, Satchel Jr. and Pham Lee, and husband Satchel Sr.
Weird. The weirdest thing is that the obit was written by, you guessed it, Apple Martin-Paltrow. She's gonna be hu-YUGE, man. I was smoking pot with Apple last night-- that's a funny bitch, dude. Here's the convo we had:
Me: Yo Apps-- Yr Mom is hot, yo.
Apple: Yeah, I'd do her.
Me: Yo, yr a fucking, like, baby, yo.
Apple: I got that work, kid.
Me: Yo, THAT'S real, yo.
I swear I tried to get her to move to the Mission District with me and change her name to XkarmapoliceveganmakeshiftjailwineandchivesX. Again, I get rejected.