Jul 28, 2006

Meet me in the street-- It's goin' down.

Curtis? Curtis Jackson? HOLY SHIT! It's me-- Jeff Laughlin! Class of '99! Man, how've you been, brother? I LOVED the outta control remix-- it was great. I don't like the Lloyd Banks, though. Can't handle it. What're you doing in New York? A Hungry Hungry Hippos Tournament? Third Place? That is GREAT. Congrats. I always knew you would bounce back from when


I FUCKING SHOT YOU IN YR GODDAMN FUCKING BODICE, PUNK.

BLAYAW BLAYAW BLAYAW. WHASSUP NOW, BITCH? IT'S FUCKING REEEEAAAAAAAAL.


Yes. Most of this story is true, except I've never held a gun in NYC. I've neither shot 50 Cent nor do I actually know Big Curt. I also didn't go to high school with him.

OUT--

1 comment:

TID Staff said...

clinton sparks get these motherfuckers familiar please please be clear this is an invasion why do rappers say such stupid things on their mixtapes i don't get it god work is boring it is 4000 degrees in here and i'm not talking about shittily-produced albums by juvenile either i am talking about red blooded american boredom so thick you can cut it with a knife go ahead give it a go little buddy cut right through it come on don't be shy oh my god you cut right through it there's blood everywhere blood on the rug blood on jon mayes' sneakers let me tell you about this sneaky fucker jon mayes so last night i'm sitting in bed staring at the wall because i think i've figured out patterns in the white i really have it's all back to mr rogers and that crazy little train system of his so efficient and sunny the pattern is in the white i must drink the pattern so anyways i'm sitting there recognizing patterns in the white and who else is right outside my window but jon mayes himself floating in air exclamation point well if it was a jeans commercial from the nineteen eighties or something i might have exclaimed or flung open the window but it is two thousand six you filthy dego get the fuck away from my window jokes on me he's scotch irish another humiliating embarrassment it's okay i'm collecting them i think when i get to sixteen hundred i get a scooby doo slip n slide with which to kill myself oh jeff i'm so damned bored don't even post this comment north carolina here i come good day to you sir