A new Questionnaire...
Are you qualified for being my damn girl?:
1) Are you/Have you ever been in Al Queda?
2) Have you ever been smacked by Trina?
3) Iss thatt ass too phatt??
4) Are you on any medication?
If yes, is that medication for:
a) Being crazy?
b) Having the damn herp?
c) Having herp's cousin/cousins?
d) Removing the idea of cousins from yr memory?
f) Yung Joc?
5) Who you fucking with?
6) I've had a tough week.
a) hold me.
b) pay attention.
7) Do you watch Entourage?
8) Are you interested in me not hanging out with you at least 2 times a week?
9) Maybe 6?
a) Maybe I'll just almost completely ignore you?
10) Paul is a merciless God. Is U-God the gayest member of Wu Tang?
11) Train A leaves New Orleans at 11 AM, and train B leaves NYC at 12 PM. If I die, does either make a sound?
12) Buy me things.
13) Wanna do the damn thang?
14) Do you keeps it real? The new Raekwon joints say you don't. What's the Lourve got to do with it?
15) Why you wanna break my heart?
16) If I once said that my ideal headshots would be black hair and navy beans splayed out over a VHS copy of the 1980s thriller "Jagged Edge" would you still be my lover?
17) How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?
18) Why can't you admit that yr shoulder ain't leaning? 'Cause you got that shoulder load?
19) WHY YOU FRONTIN'?
20) Are you mad 'cause I'm axeing you 21 questions? I love you like a fat kid loves loves cake. You know my style, I'd do anything to make you smile.
21) Are you in a relationship? Are you in any other type of ship? You trying to fuck, bitch? I'll need some ID.
23) Yo Ghost yo RAE! What the fuck, yo? Where the fuck ya'll n-----s aaaaaaaaaat?
24) Jazze Pha? I don't know who you speak of. It's all Michael Nau around here.
25) Was Ricky Ross really born in the Crackhouse? Really?
c) No, really F'real? Naw. I mean, c'mon...
26) I love you. I do. Seriously.
Please complete in triplicate and mail in with a mash-up of Jordy and the Decembrists.
You know, Colin meloy has been seen working at the Jamba juice on 5th Ave. No shit.
Uh, thumbs? Nah, no thumbs.