Sep 12, 2006

Prepare Your Pussyship for Fuckboarding

I update this blog more than a teenager with feelings, yet I still get shit everytime I wait for the muse to hit me with a statement to make.

So, this is what happens when the two to four people that read this site make me update when I'm not ready because they think I am a living joke which I am. I DO NOT CONTROL THE MUSE ARRGH! Here goes:

Jorff Carathulacjklin Presents TLJ I: Disasterhole!
A series of short-short stories involving Tommy Lee Jones and his impending doom.

Tommy Lee Jones, kidnapped, lives inside a spraypainted warship. He bangs softly at the doors awaiting rescue, his voice retreating. His coarse hands grip pipes and pick apart the lock pieces knowing full well that the deadbolt is impossible to break. He's seen the commercials-- the bullets flying into the metal. He has seen the uncompromised lock and the door unopened. Tommy Lee Jones knows he is doomed, but his panache remains unscathed; inscrutable even if unfed by any curiosity.

Material possesions don't normally concern Tommy Lee Jones, but his mind wanders. He thinks of his first car stereo-- before his stardom and adoring doting fans there were only long drives and dreams of becoming a man of uncompromised principle. Oftentimes, Clapton projects would bellow from his storebought speakers. He would ride for hours-- scraping the dash and seats for gas money. He would return home enriched. He would eat enriched rice with baked chicken.

Now, though, his hands bring him back to his reality. They are still pipe-clinched and becoming weaker. Tommy Lee Jones believes in himself-- he has since his lonely joyrides-- but this test is too much. He knows it. Even he has limitations, intimate as they may be, and thinking of them he loosens his grip and sleeps. His hands, like fate itself, are inconsequential now; cracked and bleeding from overuse.

Rick Ross Quote of the Day: Tommy Lee Jones gonna live/ or is he gonna die/ baller n----s/ we get the piece of the pie/ I'm the boss.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

I will never force the muse again. Tommy Lee Jones, however, is a great subject for a series of short stories I must say. Thanks for the joy, the tears, the love, the heartache.