Some Frequently asked questions on the site:
1) What is insigniatic cancer?
--It is the death of everything that has ever made sense, ever.
2) What would the Blue Contra dude do if he wasn't killing slants and aliens?
--First and foremost, racism is a disease, mate. It's obvious-- he would be a high school football coach. Couldn't you see him being pissed at his underacheiving son and comparing him to other better athletes in an attempt to live out some unrequited dream of his own childhood? Yeah, me too.
3) Do you think the Contra dudes had to pay for sex?
-- Absolutely not. The whores of space and the hills and valleys of Contraland were more than readily available, but were very much entranced by the Blue and Red Bandanas worn by the Contra dudes. This led to much sex having and for free, rest assured.
4) If I had intercourse with a Contra dude, would I live?
-- No. All women who procure sex with the Contra dudes were killed by pleasure or cut with buck-knives to prevent rumors about the dudes' positions/whereabouts/plans of domination.
5) What the fuck are you talking about?
6) Is there a labor crisis in Amwerica right now?
-- Well, that depends on what you mean by "crisis."
7) Do you think that the Fed's obsession with raising intertest rates will continue even with the record highs the stock market procures on a bi-yearly basis?
-- Yes, and here's why: the economic dependency on normalcy and an unchanged political environment is imperfect. We change presidents at least once every eight years,a nd the balance of power rarely lasts more than a term or two of congress, really. Ever noticed how the DOW raises after a presidential term reaches six years? Me too. I think with the coming change, the market will fall a bit, and a panicked Fed will hike rates a touch-- nothing crazy.
8) Damn, nucca. Your fish's tale is mad long.
-- Yes. Reports of Lately I've Been Thinking, The Fish's death are greatly exaggerated. Lately is motoring around her infishstructure just fine. All is well.
9) Why did Fox fire Steve Lyons?
-- Let me answer that question with another question: SHUT UP.
10) Lou Pinella? Really?
-- Soon. Watch for my next post on andherecomethepretzels.
10a) Why don't you roll with big bodyguards, like all the other bloggers do?
-- Because Paul is my bodyguard, n***a. You know what time it is, man.
11) Why are you so obsessed with Midlake, Young Dro and Rick Ross? All that shit sucks.
-- This press conference, er, FAQ section is over.