Jan 29, 2007

It's Looking Like a Drieser Novel in Here

AP-- Author Jarff Laughnldsfuotrufdbvfoinghipngrnodvsin was found dead
last night in Courtney Love's New York City apartment. Little is known about the cause of death, police say. Neither suicide nor foul play have been ruled out.

Laughnldsfuotrufdbvfoinghipngrnodvsin was found face down with several empty Vitamin Water bottles
strewn about. When asked about the incident, Love had no comment. She was taken into custody but released after questioning. In tears, she offered no explanation for the death of the author.

Best known for his rousing fictional portraits of movie stars gone awry, Laughnldsfuotrufdbvfoinghipngrnodvsin had been praised for his recent collection of flash fiction pieces on Tommy Lee Jones. The quality of his work, while oft dismissed by critics, was attuned to the absurd and ethereal. "His brilliance was his own. He will be missed," said longtime fan Blake Schwartzenbach. Lifelong friend and fellow author Paul Nair released an unreadable statement stained by chunky taco sauce.

A vigil for the author has been canceled due to lack of interest and light rain. Tommy Lee Jones could not be contacted for comment by press time.

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