Jul 30, 2007

CONFIDENCE: Use It Today.



NOTE: I think Walker Percy and I would be best pals if we grew up in the same neighborhood, never had delusions of grandeur, and were the exact same age-- down to the second. I have no basis for this argument other than maybe a serious expansion of an imaginary tumor at the base of my brain.

What kind of man imagines a tumor on the base of his brain? The kind that makes lists of imaginary ailments currently coursing on the underside of his skin-- riding the bloodstream like a shovel down a waterslide:

Bruce Banner's Disease-- This is a disease that currently has been reported in three separate people: Adam, My Sister (currently in remission) and yours truly. As of now, the constantly changing viral strain refers to being alone for the rest of one's life. Victims are known to end relationships quickly for no real reason or get into relationship with small success rates on purpose.

Madness of the Mouth-- Known to strike when drunk. A most recent outbreak had me spouting the most insane shit I've ever made to up to a complete stranger on the phone while at a bar in Brooklyn. The girl, whom I've never seen in my life, agreed to marry me. Mouth Madness, or MM as it is known colloquially, is a dangerous and nonsensical affliction with only one known case in the greater NYC area. Note: Verbal Diarrhea not related.

Krazy Kat Syndrome-- Though often mistaken for reactions to seeing the wonderfully drawn cartoon drawings of George Herriman, this sickness is beginning to blossom under the guise of this video (below) and it's successive videos.



Insigniatic Cancer-- A product of an unhealthily overactive imagination, time off when everyone else is working, and the will to write down anything that pops into my head, so long is it is nonsensical.

OMG TACOS-- Those things are DELICIOUS.



Abrupt Ending's Disea

No comments: