Sep 6, 2007

Because the Night Belongs To Us


Insigniatic Cancer has made a discovery that is going to change the face of the literary world. Last night, while drinking on a stoop in the East Village near 4:30 AM, I found a cell phone on the ground. It was an old, large phone a la the old carphones (Saved By the Bell sized). I thought I might try and find the owner by scrolling through some messages or phone numbers, when I found out this was the phone used by Caroline Meeber's former lover. To prove this fact, here's a series of text messages between the two of them:

Phone Owner (2:32 AM): what u doin now

Carrie (2:35 AM): I shall require a new hat and a scarf if I'm to be accepted as I walk up Broadway. Why should money and acceptance hinder us any longer?

Phone Owner (2:43 AM): im on the les where at u wanna come by

Carrie (2:45 AM): Oh, don't let's bandy ourselves about like this. It simply won't do to be so improper or maladjusted.

Phone Owner (3:01 AM): lol u are so deep u wanna hook up later

Carrie (3:04 AM): I do have to wake up ever so early and, quite honestly, I am nonplussed to hear such foul and cruel-natured terminlogy from you. Is this the nature of us? Is this the one truth that we can handle? Is ours the sentient sentence of the flesh? Indeed, it is possible, then, that you, in and of yourself, and your motley thoughts are the deepest conviction of our lot.

Phone Owner (3:48 AM): wut

Carrie (3:48 AM): Ah, the devil with ye-- the poor cursed lot that ween their abilities are truly the devil's children, indeed.

Phone Owner (4:03 AM): Gong hom wanna come oter

Phone Owner (3:13 PM, the next day): did i text u last nite sorry i was so drunj

Straight to the top with this blog, I tell you. If you need me, I'll be at the Smithsonian, getting head from mad literary bitches, heard?

HOLLA--

2 comments:

Rayne said...

" Is this the nature of us? Is this the one truth that we can handle? Is ours the sentient sentence of the flesh? Indeed, it is possible, then, that you, in and of yourself, and your motley thoughts are the deepest conviction of our lot."

...that is, by far,the most delightful post i've read in the longest time - thanks for the laughs...i'm new here, but i think i'm fast becoming quite addicted...

Business or Leisure? said...

Thanks. There's never a line here and plenty of beer. Live bands on Thursdays-- this week is a Coldplay cover band and specials on domestic bottles.