Sep 14, 2007

Worst Post Ever


I made your necklace into a raft. I am floating out to sea; half asleep in a hard-pulling current, currently.

Your necklace is an ibex running at intense speeds gaining ground on its mate.

I slipped your necklace into a safe deposit box for the future. It will mature.

I took the beads from your necklace and sprinkled them over my hands as though they were my connection to the weather.

I wrapped your necklace around my wrist and danced around my room without music with no one watching.

I noted the absence of your necklace despite knowing exactly where it was.

I spilled milk over your necklace and it reminded me of cereal.

I fixed your necklace's clamp and was never thanked by you or the necklace.

I cleaned the apartment and put on a brand new shiny suit to impress your necklace.

I introduced your necklace to a nice young Jewish boy. He ordered your necklace a steak sandwich and a bloody Mary.

I showed your necklace some internet porn by accident.

I soiled your poor necklace, I did, I did and I am sorry, but I did.

Your necklace is a sturdy table with a cat sidling over it searching for attention.

I read some Italo Calvino aloud and your necklace fell asleep. How rude.

I made a nice breakfast in bed for your necklace: a feta-spinach omelet, bacon, toast with jam and a healthy glass of orange juice. Your necklace needs breakfast if it is going to glimmer and shine at its full potential.

Your necklace will fill my resting place with dirt and lay a single rose upon my goddamn grave, I tell you.

(You left your necklace at my apartment, by the way.)

5 comments:

Rayne said...

i've been adrift in the blogosphere and unable to post or even string two coherent sentences together for weeks, so i'm reduced to lurking about and posting the occasional comment on someone else's brilliance. which brings me to you... your words mesmerize me...

Rayne said...

p.s.. i had never read italo calvino...so i googled him and read an excerpt (-actually, a selection of the first chapter of "if on a winter's night a traveler")...and am intrigued! and impressed....thanks for turning me on to him,i'll have to look him up on my next visit to the bookstore. tell me, do you have a favorite...one of his works that you'd recommend?

Business or Leisure? said...

I'm not a huge fan, but I did like Invisible Cities. That's my personal choice-- other people seem to think If On a Winter's Night A Traveller is the best. I couldn't do it. Under the Jaguar Sun is also OK, but not to start off with.

Toothfairyrecipes said...

Someone warned me about your blog but I had to see for myself, It is quite weired I agree, I do not know what your talking about but it saunds like a poem at times and it can be funny some times, so I guess I'll be back later to see if i can make much sense of it all!
X Matin

Business or Leisure? said...

Well, thanks. It's even weirder live.