Jun 27, 2008

A Conversation Part.com/whut


Paul: do you want some beans
me: no thanks
not hungry
Paul: no one ever wants the beans
me: they suck ass, Paul
Paul: i've been in business for 27 years
you kicks come in here and don't order the beans
me: they fucking blow, killer
Paul: guess its time to close down the old cafe
lord knows the old girls put in so much work
sigh
guess i'll retire up muskegon way
start fishing
maybe fix up the old chevy


Paul: how bout some of these beans
me: no thanks
those beans taste like sweaty palms
Paul: guess its time to put the plywood up on this old place
sure gonna miss it
so many meals, celebrations
eat the beans
pay for them
me: those beans look like withered skin


Paul: ok so lets see one order of the tacos
two plates of the nachos
128 pounds of the beans
comin right up
me: no sir
I was just here from the bank with this foreclosure notice
Paul: YA JUST ONE SEC I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN TO MAKE DEEZ BEANS
me: no one ordered any beans
Paul: i can't hear ya over the dishwasher
got your beans comin right up
me: sir, sign this
Paul: no autographs
thanks i'm flattered though
yeah we do make the best beans round here
but i'm just a local boy keepin the family business open
servin up my delicious beans
to all comers
me: OH GOD-- those beans smell like salty gonorrhea


Paul:
they say you never forget your first bowl of beans
i remember summers by the lake house
the beans stacked high as the pine tops
i remember aunt jodie getting raped and murdered
me: Jesus, my burning nostrils.
Paul: i remember long summers with the beans
telling them my secrets
me: I can't stop vomiting
Paul: people get excited about the beans
they come in here all drunk from the pop at the macdonalds
lookin for a nice bowl of the beans
shot two of the colored boys last summer
badmouthed the beans
you can smell it can't ya?
that's the smell of the good beans
me: God fuck David I'm bleeding from the chest
Paul: they say you're not really ready for the beans until you've been stabbed in the heart
its just an old saying round these parts
but every summer a man understands why some sayings ring true
me: WHy is this happ
Paul: your beans are comin right up son
GLORIOUS BEANS
SHINING BEANS
me: Soul evacuating body
Paul: that'll be 290 dollars for the beans please
me: gckkkk gckkk
Paul: okey dokey just 282 more please
me: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Paul: we only take american dollars sir
me: hlp mhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Paul: you come back now and see us again
i'm glad you liked the beans young man
get on now
we're closed
me: ssssssssssshhhhhhhaaaaaa
blud
hrlp
hrlp me
Paul: GET OUT
THE BEANS NEED REST


me: the whole beans convo is going up on cancer
Paul: epic

3 comments:

Michael5000 said...

Cool.

G said...

Salty gonorrhea, indeed.

Business or Leisure? said...

Both of these are good points.