May 28, 2009

A Conversation: Part Snorpis



me:
SNOPY
Paul: gime snopy
me: Snopy performs minor surgery on himself before walking out to meet his date. he is dressed in leftover chicken-skin. It was different in Prague and he liked it.
Paul: Snopy sits in his darkened bedroom fingering the Fender Strat delicately. He'll write the song that opens her heart, he will.

me: Snopy looks out over the city with a great weight on his aura. As great as his penthouse suite is, he cannot help the grief. He calls in his secretary to see if she'll give him head. Always helps.

Paul: Snopy hits the gas and burns rubber on the Dulles Toll Road. The sun is shining, the radio plays his favorite song. His cell phone lights up with her name on the screen. 'This can't be real,' he thinks. Birds circle overhead.

me: No one knows pain like Snopy. He places another two quarters in the slot and plays nudie photo hunt. He gesticulates wildly as the time winds down on a particularly hard one. He takes a wild guess and wins.
Paul: Snopy absorbs Beanie Sigel's immaculately placed punch to the throat. The whole bar turns to look and an ominous silence descends on the dusty old joint. "Dude Looks Like A Lady" begins blaring from the juke box as if on cue.

me: Snopy creates space with a hard crab-dribble. Sure, it's only legal because he's a star. He careens through the lane for tough reverse layup and one. The jumbotron speakers cry of "DE-FENSE" makes him chuckle. They forgot to turn it off.
Paul: Snopy discreetly barfs up his Lunchables ham and cheese crackers behind the 7-11. That bully won't leave him alone. He's done nothing wrong. Why'd they have to move? Is life always gonna be this tough?

me: Snopy wakes up to the Indian woman next door singing out of tune. He considers yelling "IT'S 8:30 YOU STUPID HINDI BITCH," but he pours a glass of orange-tangerine juice and puts on ESPN First Take instead. That fucking Skip Bayless is full of shit.

Paul: Snopy pierces Christian Laettner's heart with his gargantuan cock. Cameron Indoor Stadium swells to a roar as the strobe lights trigger. Dick Vitale explodes.

me: There were three sides to Snopy: a strange mixture of ostrich-like reactions, brilliance in artistic form and charm when one got to know him. He was, in his way, the beginning and end of any conversation; the quelling of human emotion at its most dramatic point.

Paul: The wind shook the elms as we stood on the patio smoking silently. In hours we'd be off to Hertfordshire, for the old woman's funeral. But in that stillness, in the featureless time between midnight and the first faint light of dawn, SNOPY MADE ME HEH HEH
i'm really quite concerned about our sanity

me: Snopy corners you in your home. You reach for your mace, but he he is so strong. He looks you in the eye-- only inches from your face and demonically smiling. He says, "WHAR'S ME TOOTHPICK? YOU'VE HAD YOUR LAST HEHEH"
Paul: Snopy hurt me oh so bad

for more on this convo, please click here and scroll down.

1 comment:

Michael5000 said...

Freaks.