Jul 12, 2009

Fun With Omegle



You:
Well, I had to hand in an essay about the prevalence of Huey Lewis and the News in modern society.
Stranger: i dont know much about that
You: Nor do I.
You: I'll tell you, there was pretty good microfilm on the subject.
You: So, I faked it.
Stranger: perfect
Stranger: a for effort
You: I titled it: "Huey: Modern Genius and the Reconstitution of Paralysis Medicines."
Stranger: ahh...you shouldve included the last name too
You: The next one is going to be "Tears for Fears: God's New Plan for Life's Troubles."
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



Stranger: hi
You: Not gonna lie to you, the burgers were a little disappointing at this diner down the street.
You: They said they were gonna be good.
You: Best in NYC, they said.
You: Well, sir or madame, I disagree wholeheartedly.
Stranger: u obviously come from america
You: Yeah
You: Yeah, I do.
You: Land of delicious burgers and opportunity.
Stranger: m or f?
You: I'm a red-blooded American Male.
You: So dissapointed in these burgers.
Stranger: age?
Stranger: haha
You: Just red-hot with rage.
You: If you say best, and you can't do mid-rare, I HAVE NO USE FOR YOU.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: My roommate has an idea that all British people are pod-people hell-bent on destroying the idea of happiness.
Stranger: do you want to see what i look like?
You: are you british?
Stranger: u tell me
Stranger: do i look british to u ho?
You: I gotta tell you, you don't look British.
Stranger: :D
You: You look like a propane salesman, perhaps from Oregon or Wales?
Stranger: ur a dddddudde huh
Stranger: good guess
You: thanks
You: The first time I found a quarter on the ground I threw it at a squirrel.
You: Goddamned squirrels.
Stranger: this one time//
Stranger: o
Stranger: o
Stranger: i**
You: They are pod-creatures hell-bent on destroying the constitution.
Stranger: i doused a girl in petrol lit her on fire and fucked her with a fire extinguisher
You: Was she British?
Stranger: russian
Stranger: freaky girl
Stranger: u like dudes ir gurlzzz?
Stranger: or*
You: Apparently, I like Russians, now.
Stranger: lul
You: As long as they aren't British.
Stranger: u a dude or gurlll
You: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I found a briefcase full of crackers.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Often, in dreams, I will be holding a pineapple.
Stranger: omgosh in dreams im usually balencing one on my head!
You: Let's penetrate its meaning
Stranger: what do u believe the meaning on it is
You: I think it is a sign of misfortune in love-- a noncommital, if you will.
Stranger: really what do u pull that froom
You: Having a citrus nearby means you are worried about the self.
You: You worry only about your own well-being.
You: Rather than others.
You: Just a guess.
Stranger: oh i see
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

2 comments:

mp said...

Y.

are grapefruits citri?

Business or Leisure? said...

I believe so, yes. Lions? Also citri.