Oct 28, 2009

Definitive Proof


me: do you like bats, Adam?
Adam: umm ... yes?
i like Palubats
me: wrong answer

me: Burton, do you like bats?
Burton: jeff i hate the things
we live by a levy, and we've had many a pleasant family walked spoiled by bats
swooping bats
me: evil vile creatures

me: darryl, do you like bats?
darryl: sure why not
me: wrong answer
they are shitty creatures
darryl: yeah cant stand em
me: I thought so.

me: kathleen, do you like bats?
kathleen: why yes. unless they are flying at my face.
me: so, no, then?
No is the right answer
kathleen: no
me: good thinking
bats are evil
kathleen: yes they do have rather beady eyes
me: oh totally

me: keith, do you like bats?
keith: sure
me: wrong answer
keith: ok
me: you should agree with me that they are vile and disgusting creatures
keith: sometimes
they eat bugs
me: disgusting
keith: i like it that they eat bugs
me: you would
keith: sure

me: joe, do you like bats?
joe: yes
me: wrong answer
they are evil and vile
joe: ok, no.
me: good thinking

me: Will, do you like bats?
Will: the ones that fly or the ones that hit baseballs
me: the living terrible creatures
Will: i do not like them
unless they are far away and i see them flying in austin, tx
me: acceptable
thank you for this information
Will: anyone who likes bats is crazy, and also probably watches twilight

me: Craig, do you like bats?
Craig: i used to go to a few gboro bats games
and yes...bats amuse me.
me: ugh, I find them disgusting

me: Dan, do you like bats?
godimsickofthis: ...
yes?
me: the answer should be no.
godimsickofthis: no
me: they are horrible creatures who only mean to hurt
and hate
thank you, Dan
godimsickofthis: hate them
fuck those rats with wings
me: YASS
godimsickofthis: they are as intemperate as they are voracious
the only GOOD BAT IS A DEAD BAT
me: preach
godimsickofthis: riddled with filth
spawn of the devil
all the worst parts of rats and pigeons mixed together
they ONLY GO OUT AT NIGHT BECAUSE THEY'RE ASHAMED OF THEIR NATURE
which they should be
fuck those fucking bats
i'll fuck their mother in the mouth
me: you are the greatest
godimsickofthis: what did i do
i just hate bats

me: Stan, do you like bats?
staaaaaaan: the animal or the baseball tool
me: animal-- the vile, filthy animal
staaaaaaan: bats are fine, i guess. batman wouldn'te xist without bats.
me: wrong answer
bats suck\
staaaaaaan: SHIT
i knew it
me: yeah
you blew that one
but as long as you really hate bats, that is fine

me: Matt, do you like bats?
the animal?
I sure don't
Matt: i dont' know if i really have opinion
why don't you?
me: no reason really
gotta not like some things in life, you know?
Matt: oh absolutely, i hate gator fans
and i don't like horses
me: I hate horses.
I am totally with you on the horse dislike
Matt: yeah man, i ranted about horses to my roomie a while ago when we were drunk and he was like wtf who doesn't like horses and i went off
me: the people at my work know not to pass horse books my way because I will go off for like 10 minutes about their pointlessness to society
I'm glad we had this talk

There you have it: everyone hates bats.

2 comments:

Michael5000 said...

http://michael5000.blogspot.com/2009/10/halloween-special-spreading-bat-love_31.html

Take that, bat hat3r.

Hannah said...

I like bats. I like them a lot, actually. I would like to have one live in my house, and then I could get a really nice dollhouse, and he could play in there. He could sit at the tiny table and pretend to make arts and crafts projects.